Leaving Asia (9-21)

Sunday morning Khun Yindee and her husband took me to the bus station. 

Khun Dakom met us there to give me my breakfast and lunch that Khun Toy had prepared—

small fish, wild mushrooms and rice. Then it was time to say “good-bye” to Khun Yindee, which was difficult.

Saying “good-bye” to these special friends is always difficult, but this time it was more difficult because I don’t know when I’ll see them again, but I know it won’t be soon.

The bus to Bangkok was the First Class bus again; so it was a good ride. I sadly watched the rice fields go by, as I know I’m leaving my Asian home and life and moving on. In Bangkok, I went to Pokpak’s apartment to pick up my big bag, and then she took me to the airport to embark on my journey out of Asia.

The first leg of the journey was from Bangkok to Seoul on an overnight flight. As I had hoped, starting at 12:20 AM enabled me to sleep for a few hours, which was good. After a few hours in Seoul, it was time to leave Asia. 36 hours after leaving Ubon, I arrived in Chicago to begin the next phase of my life.

Ban Puai Part 3 (9-20)

Saturday we made what would be my last trip to feed the monks at Wat Po. Khun Toy wanted photos that day; she may have known it might be the last time we would go together.

Khun Toy teaches students at the wat on Sundays and had asked me to help her. No problem. A few days later it came out that I wasn’t “helping her,” I was doing English activities for an hour. Khun Dakom explained that I could have a conversation with the students about general topics. In other words, I could ask basic questions. I know that these students don’t know much English and can’t speak a lot and won’t speak to me; so I was not looking forward to this. The morning begins at 8:00 with an hour of chanting and a short meditation. I understood that the class is from 9:00 to 10:00. Her class is about 15 students in 5^th - 9^th grades. When it came time to begin, the class had increased to 45 students in 3^rd or 4^th – 9^th grades, with the majority being the younger ones. I wasn’t really surprised at this change, but I wasn’t happy. That’s too wide a range of ages and skills, but the philosophy is that it doesn’t make a difference. It’s about being exposed to a foreign teacher, which I still find frustrating to deal with. After regrouping my activity ideas, the session went OK. I knew that they wouldn’t know much English, but I’d forgotten how little they know. After my hour was over, Khun Toy said I could do the next hour, as the class goes until 11:00 and students were enjoying it. I think it’s the novelty of having a foreign teacher and the fact that it was a game-like activity. At that point, I said, “No” because she had told me to prepare for one hour; so she did an activity. After having time to think a bit, I came up with another activity that they could do and finished the class. Khun Yindee told me later that everyone was talking about having seen me.

After class, we ate lunch with the abbot in his mesh tent for meals. Then we returned home where I learned that we were going to Adin’s farm. There we had lunch #2 an hour after lunch #1. I ate fruit, as I wasn’t at all hungry. But it’s always relaxing to be on a farm. In the evening we returned to the wat for the evening chanting. When I commented on how long the monks talked, Khun Toy said that every 9 days there is a long talk and this was that day.

Monday morning we went to a rural school about an hour away for a tamboon that Khun Dakom’s niece from Bangkok was having there. There were plates of food ready to be served. Children were being given ice cream when we arrived. A student from each grade was given an envelope, which I suppose had money for the class. 

Students danced. 

Then our plan changed. Instead of having lunch there, we returned to Lue Amnat for lunch, as the Bangkok folks wanted to tour in Ubon. They had a huge van that held all ten of them and the three of us. On the way, they reclined two seats and played a card gambling game similar to 21, but I didn’t figure out how it worked. They had a lot of fun.

Our first stop was Wat Hua Don where they were shown all the buildings. As we walked, I could see that Khun Toy was itching to look for mushrooms in the forest. She found a couple handfuls not too far off the path. 

Then we went to Wat Phatatnongbua, which I’d been to before but I don’t remember seeing the inside of the buildings. 

Next we went to Wat Mahawarem, which I don’t remember visiting before. Then we returned to Lue Amnat and home.

Khun Toy told me Monday evening that we would go to Wat Hua Don on Wednesday and stay until they took me to the bus station on Sunday. So, Tuesday morning I went to the school to say “good-bye” to Khun Yindee and other teachers. I had planned to go before school when most of the teachers are on the sports field for the morning ceremony, but it was raining heavily; so no one would be outside. I saw a few teachers, but ended out spending most of the time with Khun Yindee since we hadn’t had much time together. Then Khun Toy and Khun Teamjan took me to Nam Tuam to say “hello” to teachers there. I was good friends with a few of the teachers even though we have very little common language, and it’s always good to reconnect with them. One of the teachers gave me a box of Thai silk—bright rose colored—from the teachers. I think it was originally for Khun Ratree’s retirement; so it was sweet of them to give it to me and then get her another gift. My friend took me to greet other teachers. The new English teacher then took over and had me go to the 7^th – 9^th grade classes so students could ask me questions. Some of the 8^th and 9^th graders remembered that I had taught their classes when they were in 1^st and 2^nd grades, which was rather touching.

In the afternoon, we went to Amnat Charoen so Khun Toy could buy a new refrigerator to replace the old one that was about twenty years old and was in need of replacing. In preparation for its delivery two hours later, I cleaned the floor under the old refrigerator that hadn’t been cleaned for many years. We had fun as she tried to learn the word “refrigerator” and to remember it in the following days. When I tried to shorten it to “fridge,” that was more challenging; so we stuck with “refrigerator.”

Khun Toy cooked my last dinner in her home and Khun Teamjan and her grandchildren joined us for my “good-bye” dinner. Since it had rained heavily overnight and had rained most of the day, Khun Suwit couldn’t ride his motorcycle from the farm to join us.

Wednesday morning we went to Wat Hua Don for the remainder of my time with them. When I had packed my bags and left Khun Toy’s green outfit, which I had given her when I left and she’d given me to wear to the retirement dinner, she said she’d keep it for me to wear the next time I come. I barely fit it now; so I doubt that I’ll be wearing it in the future, but it’s a sweet thought.

I had a nice walk around the forest, which I did every day, 

stopping at the old tree to do some yoga. After lunch Khun Toy told me we were going to the dentist because Khun Dakom’s tooth was sick. So we went to the hospital. An hour after he checked in we left with his tooth fixed. On the way back, we stopped at the market to purchase food for breakfast on Thursday. Later I helped Khun Toy prepare white radishes for her morning cooking. Each afternoon she prepared some of the food she was cooking for the monks, and I helped with basic tasks.

We did not do daily chanting, as at this wat only the monks chant daily. Other people join them only on Buddha days. I missed this.

Every day I woke up at 5:20 AM so I could be in the kitchen at 6:00 to help Maechi with preparation of food for the monks. My job was preparing fruit—peeling and cutting it into sections, as the monks are given food ready to eat.

Thursday after breakfast we went to a small village school to deliver a donation from the wat for their tamboon to raise money for a new flagpole and playground. We also delivered flip-flops donated by someone. Unfortunately, they were adult sized and would be too large for the students. We arrived at 9:00, and the monks arrived at 10:15. The English teacher spoke with me for a while. She had just transferred from another school to this one. She explained that the school is very small—only 63 students in 1^st to 6^th grades and seven teachers. Having classes of ten students would be a teachers’ dream.

Being VIPs, we were seated on chairs, which was nice during the long wait and the ceremony. After the monks arrived and chanted, donations were received. Then it was time for lunch. We were seated at a table, which was also nice. Khun Toy had them make somtom without chilis for me. 

On the way back, we stopped at a temple with a big Buddha.

Friday morning we went to a nearby wat, Wat Tung Sri Vitrai, to take food for a monk who was ill. Two cars of people from the village went. We arrived at 9:30, greeted the monk and chatted with him, walked around the wat, and waited until 11:00 for the monks to arrive for brief chanting and lunch. While we were waiting, one of the women gave me a cord bracelet like many of them wear.

After the monks ate, the food was put out for the guests. Again, special non-spicy somtom was prepared for me. 

On the way back to Wat Hua Don, we stopped at a bridge across a rice field that was built to connect two small villages so the monks can walk between them to collect food offerings.

Saturday we had a change of plans, as Khun Yindee was able to invite me to her home for the day and night. After breakfast she and her husband picked me up. This was the last I would see Khun Toy, since Sunday was Buddha Day and she wouldn’t go to the bus station to see me off. Saying “good-bye” was hard.

After lunch, Khun Yindee and I hung out at her house. She had a little work to do; so I used her wi-fi while she did that. During breaks, we chatted. In the evening we went out for dinner and then hung out some more. It was good to have this special time with her.

Ban Puai Part 2 (9-10)

Friday night we went to the first of the official retirement parties—the one in Amnat Charoen for all the retiring teachers in the province. Dinner was the usual seven courses: appetizers, spicy fungus salad, fish, pork leg, fried rice, soup, and canned rambutan. After dinner, speeches were given and all 160 of retiring teachers stood on the stage to be briefly introduced, which took quite a while. Then there was entertainment—two singers. I was told that one of them is very popular in the province. We stayed until the end—10:30, which is quite late for these folks to be out.

I spent the weekend with Tony and his family, a much-needed retreat, as I’d been feeling like I was staying too long with Khun Toy and Khun Dakom and the week had been a little stressful. It was really good to chat and laugh with him. Sampong took advantage of having a guest and suggested an outing on Saturday. We went to one of the places along the Mekong River with floating “huts” for eating. I’d been to the ones on the river in Ubon, but I hadn’t been to these. We had a simple lunch and relaxed. Duncow and Tony swam in the river while Sampong and I just relaxed and enjoyed being on it. When we returned to Ubon, we stopped for a drink at a shop their friend’s family owns. There I met their Danish friend who lives with the woman at the shop. Sunday we hung out and went shopping for dinner, as Tony was making spaghetti. Another friend, Alfredo from Switzerland, and his wife joined us. Tony made one of the sauces with fish, which everyone liked. I really enjoyed relaxing with them and being on the farm. Boink was at a math competition; so I didn’t see her until Monday morning when we met briefly at breakfast. It was a good break for me, and I left feeling refreshed and more relaxed.

Monday morning I went with Khun Toy and Khun Dakom to stay at Wat Hua Don for a few days, which I was looking forward to since I always enjoy being there. Khun Toy and I did a quick walk in the forest to look for mushrooms, but they’d all been picked already. This turned out to be my only walk in the forest, as we were gone or busy the rest of the time we were there. I’d looked forward to a couple solo walks in the forest, as I always enjoy my time there, but it was OK that it didn’t happen. When we returned, we cleaned the mushrooms others had found and Khun Toy steamed them for the monks Tuesday morning.

At 11:30, we went to the cremation of the man who had died. I’d been to many cremations, but this one was special—about 1000 people, over 100 floral wreaths, many people wearing the national government uniform, dancers and singers, 30 monks, two large screens onto which everything was projected. We arrived at 12:00, and I was glad to have my Kindle along, as it was clear that nothing was happening for a while. When Yai Dam arrived, we went to greet her. She took my hand and held it for several moments, which really moved me. 

While we waited, people came around several times serving drinks. Live music was performed—very loudly—on the stage. Guests were given a book and a DVD about the man. I learned later that he was a nationally famous songwriter who wrote over 1000 songs. The king and queen sent a floral wreath. When it was time for the cremation, the casket was carried to the crematorium. Monks led the procession which went around the crematorium three times. Everyone in the procession held a string connecting them to the casket. Comments were made from the platform, a couple people sang, and dance groups performed. Everyone was given a box with a piece of cake and juice. We were also given the white paper flowers to place near the coffin. After everything was over, all the guests proceeded to the platform to leave our flowers. Then photos were taken with various groups and the family.

After the cremation, we went to dinner with Kwan and Baitoy at a restaurant on the river. 

While we were waiting for the food, I enjoyed the sunset over the river. Baitoy is now in 9^th grade and was confident enough to speak a little English with me, which was nice to see. Adin and his wife joined us later. Since they wouldn’t be joining the celebration on Wednesday, Kwan brought a cake. After we ate cake, two more dishes were brought. Needless to say, we ate well.

Tuesday we cleaned more mushrooms that Khun Toy had found on an early walk before I arrived in the kitchen. These were steamed and then set aside for her to take home. Then we went to a home for disabled people. As Khun Toy’s charity project for her birthday, she had prepared lunch that was delivered and purchased a lot of snacks. The monks from the wat also went, maybe to share the lunch, as they didn’t do anything there. When we returned to the wat, it was time to start preparing food for the meal Khun Toy was cooking for the monks Wednesday morning, her birthday. She had decided that, since I was there to help, she would make the laab duck, duck soup, and fried duck again. This time she bought three ducks, since there were twelve monks at the wat. One of the men who stays there skinned two of the ducks, amazingly taking the skin off in one piece. He also cut the meat into small pieces for the laab. From 3:00 to 7:00 I cut duck skin into small pieces and prepared garlic and shallots.

Wednesday morning I woke up at 4:00 to help Khun Toy cook her birthday offering for the monks; she started at 3:30 and had asked me to help at 4:30. It’s not everyone I would do that for. I sliced shallots and garlic for an hour. Then it was time to go out of the wat to meet the monks as they began their walk to collect food donations. When we returned, I helped get other donated food ready for serving. 

Khun Toy had also purchased two cakes for the monks. After they selected their food, Pra Kong said a short prayer for her. She had written something on a paper and put it in a bowl with a candle and lighter. He read it, said a little more, and then burned the paper.

The wat has changed since last year. It is always growing. The chedi that was being planned is now a structure that just needs to be completed. The workers were working on it while we were there. 

They are cutting down trees along the entrance road so that the chedi will be in full view as cars enter the wat. 

I really like the painting inside behind what will be the altar. Another building that will be a monastery (Khun Dakom’s description) is being constructed. I think the plan is for monks to come to the wat to study for extended periods. I learned later that the wood for this building came from Malaysia. 

They have a car—dark yellow—for the monks. 

They are creating a lovely garden, featuring a small waterfall, next to the main building where services are held. It changed from day to day. 

The old nun has died. The younger one, Maechi, who took care of her has stayed on and plans to stay until she dies. She is 53 years old and has been a nun for five years. She speaks some English, and I enjoyed talking with her a little. She went with us on Tuesday, and we stopped at her parent’s home—and her former home—in Ubon.

After breakfast, we returned home. We had a little time to sleep before leaving for Khun Suwit’s farm for the rest of the day. First there was lunch. One of the dishes was the wild mushrooms, which were delicious. Most of the dishes were pork, the meat of the day, but they fried some chicken for me. Three other couples joined the group during the day. A couple other women were also there to help with the cooking. I did my thing with shallots and garlic again, having become an expert, and removed leaves from herbs. I also peeled and cut potatoes and carrots. People who had not met me before took photos of this interesting event. It felt strange to be the object of such curiosity regarding a basic cooking skill.

Mostly I relaxed and read in Khun Suwit’s comfortable chair that reclines. There was also karaoke and a little dancing in the afternoon and evening. The granddaughters came after school, and I had a good time interacting with them. They’d run over, say “good afternoon” or my name, and then run off. The out-of-town guests stayed in Khun Suwit’s cabin for the night.

Thursday morning we woke at 6:30, which was beginning to seem late, to return to the farm to cook breakfast. I got to peel more shallots. After hanging out for a few hours, the party was over and everyone left. Having had a few busy days, it was nice not to have anything to do the rest of the day. Khun Toy was too tired to go to the wat for chanting, but we returned on Friday—both morning and evening.

Khun Toy and Khun Dakom have gone photo crazy now that they have smartphones. Tony and I talked about how Thais in general have gone photo crazy. At the cremation when the dancing groups performed, there were so many people who had to stand up close to take photos that people sitting couldn’t see the performance. Last year when I visited, Khun Toy and Khun Dakom were just learning to take photos and I taught them how to post on Facebook. Now they live on Line and Facebook and take photos all the time. I’m glad I lived here before they learned this skill, as taking photos and giving them the photos was one of the few things I could do for them. Photos were always on my camera. Now they take so many photos that I don’t have many on my camera, as I can’t always give it to someone to take a photo because they’re taking their own. And often when I do take a photo for them Khun Toy wants it on her camera. They enjoy posting them to share with all their online friends.