Preparing to leave (7-4)

Two weeks ago a big bomb was dropped into my last few days at the university: they scheduled my written exams, which have been in week 18 the whole time I’ve been here, during week 19. This meant that I would spend my last three days before leaving doing nothing but grading 180 exams so I could turn in the grades before leaving on Friday, July 10. Other teachers could turn in grades up till July 12. I was not happy. I talked to Hannah who talked to the person in charge who said they couldn’t be changed. Then I wrote that person a letter explaining why the exams needed to be in week 18—they are subjective and, therefore, take more time to grade than the usual objective exams—and how this was affecting my schedule for leaving and said I hope that, in the future, she will remember this. Hannah said they talked again and that the department’s party secretary spoke to the department of instruction, which sets the exams, but that they wouldn’t change them. I didn’t really expect that the university would change the exam dates, given that this is a rigid, inflexible system, but I had to try. So, after a few days with a very bad attitude about having my last three days “ruined,” I adjusted enough to be social and friendly with my friends. My new plan was to finish everything I needed to do to prepare to leave the country prior to Exam-Grading Hell.

Shortly after receiving this news, I learned about the music department’s show by chance when a student invited Julie and the other foreign teachers to attend. I figured that, since it’s the music department, there would be really good music. I was right. It was a wonderful way to relax for an hour.

On Friday of that week, the four of us leaving the university—Julie, Sam, Omar, and I—were called to a meeting with the president. He thanked us for our work and encouraged us to recommend the university to our friends. We were given a nice tea mug. Fortunately, I had planned to mail one more box to the U.S.

On Sunday Grace and her friend Ali came to cook lunch. Ali was the main cook. While she cooked, Grace and I prepared the vegetables. My job was to take leaves off the stems and then to sit on the couch and relax. The meal was tomatoes and eggs, the leaves, soybeans, and rice and grain porridge. Although Ali was in my class last year, she was one of the students who didn’t talk; so I didn’t know her. It was good to get to know her, and I enjoyed the time with Grace, whom I hadn’t talked to for a few months other than quick greetings.

After lunch, I went to Peggie’s apartment to give her a few things and to see if she and her husband could help with getting set up to transfer money to the U.S. online. He was able to help with one part of the process. Then they invited me to stay for dinner. Again, my job was to remove leaves from the sweet potato stems and then to relax and watch TV while Peggie cooked. After eating, we relaxed together for a while before they drove me back. It was good to have time to relax and chat with her.

Monday Diao Min invited Dale and me to have lunch with her and her boyfriend. Meeting him was special because, even though they have been together for seven years, they have not met each other’s parents. I felt honored that she wanted me/us to meet him. She and I had talked before about their not having met each other’s parents, and she had explained that meeting parents is very serious in China and means that marriage will probably follow soon. They don’t plan to get married for a few more years, as Diao Min will get her Master’s degree. Then she hopes to get a PhD in the U.S. He also wants to do that.

A big project was to get set up to transfer money from my account here to my account in the U.S. A banker told me I could have a Chinese friend help. I knew that most of my Chinese friends know less about this than I do. When Peggie’s husband couldn’t help with setting up the account for transfers, I returned to the bank. That day I was lucky to have spoken to two students, one from Tunisia and one from Niger, at SUFE. When I went to the window, the man, who speaks Chinese well, came to assist. That made it easier for the banker, who has adequate English for the job but not much more, and I to communicate. With his help, I got my questions answered and learned a few things. Since I’m not Chinese, I cannot transfer Chinese yuan; the money has to be converted to dollars. I can only convert $500 a day, which seemed to mean I can send only $500 a day. She told me that, if I give the money to a Chinese friend to transfer, then there is no limit to the amount and it would then cost less because it could be one transfer. The next week I returned to ask if I can transfer more money if it’s already in the account. The woman I talked to told me that the first woman said I should have a Chinese friend help. I didn’t get a “yes” or “no” response to my question as to whether I could transfer larger amounts if they are in the account. When I tried to deposit dollars, she suggested I carry them with me and have my friend transfer Chinese yuan. I think we were both a bit frustrated with the interaction due to our limited common language and my limited understanding of their system.

After the first trip to the bank, I asked Hannah to be my Chinese friend. So, on Wednesday, I was able to deposit yuan into her account, and she was able to convert it all to dollars, using the total amount she is allowed to convert in a year. Then, after several attempts, as we were both learning this process, the money was transferred successfully. We were both very happy.

While we were working on the bank transfer, Roger was in the office. He gave me a necklace with a bead that means having a lot of money. I had told Hannah that we could eat dinner when we finished; so I invited Roger to join us. I even managed to pay for the dinner, with Hannah agreeing when I said she could buy a drink afterwards. 

When we left the restaurant, I remembered the cat café I’d heard about and mentioned it. Hannah, too, wanted to go there. So we found it. Bro Fat Cat has several cats roaming around. When they walked past us, they were not amenable to petting. Later, when we were leaving, they were sitting on the floor and were amenable to being petted. We had an enjoyable time relaxing together. It was especially meaningful to have some special time with Roger, as he was my first student friend during my first semester here. I still remember how excited he was to see a foreigner when I was reading on a bench one day. When I told that story, he laughed and said he remembers that, too.

Since Paul and I were both going to Chengdu on Thursday, I told him I’d take him to lunch as thanks for all the free computer assistance he has given me. We went to a Chinese restaurant he knew about and had a nice meal together. We were surprised when the broccoli we ordered turned out to be stir-fried pieces of broccoli stems—no florets. It was nice to have this last time together with just the two of us, as he has been a special friend.

The other purpose of my trip to the city was to do a little last-minute shopping, as I had a few items I wanted to buy. Since I was tired that day, I wasn’t in the mood to linger and did the shopping rather quickly and returned home.

When I went to see Mr. Huang, he gave me a big box of Chinese black tea. I was really surprised and touched that he had a gift for me.

Since I had Exam-Grading Hell looming over me, I cleaned the apartment last week. I figured that if I got the big cleaning done, I could just wipe over things briefly later. I also got busy packing and mailed three boxes to the U.S. I do have a hard time letting go of things I like or that have been given to me. And I really like a lot of the clothes. In addition, I have purchased many gifts. I had planned to leave some of the cold weather clothes. Then I learned that nights in Namibia are cold—50-60 degrees; so I decided that I’ll need them there. And I’ll need some in the U.S. because it will again be winter when I’m there. Each box cost $60 to mail, much less than the cost of buying replacements.

I finished office hours discussions last week. Few students came as they were busy studying for their exams. But it was good to see the ones who did come for a final time together.

Even with these activities, I had a lot of free time last week. Since I’d learned from students that they had free times when they could have done my exams, I still resented the powers that be refusing to change even one of the exams, thus making my final days even more stressful than the usual stress surrounding moving. When I had a lot of free time, I resented that I couldn’t be grading exams during that time. Knowing that I had to grade them all in three days added to the stress of moving and leaving the country that I have enjoyed living in for 2.5 years.